


Loneliness has never felt so selfish

by Beansofftoast



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Toni Topaz Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29675907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beansofftoast/pseuds/Beansofftoast
Summary: Basically Toni feels Constricted with her and Cheryl's relationship, and it all builds up
Relationships: Cheryl Blossom & Toni Topaz, Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz
Kudos: 27





	Loneliness has never felt so selfish

Toni sat up, the room pitch dark. She held her knees up to her chest trying to keep herself warm - it's icy, icy cold. You'd be Cold even with your coat on.. And your boots. But that wasn't keeping Toni away from her standard peaceful slumber. It was the sickening feeling of loneliness. It felt wrong, unjust feeling so alone with her girlfriend sleeping beside her. Toni turned to the side, Cheryl looked so calm and peaceful, but it only made the knot in Toni's chest tighter looking at her. She knew how much Cheryl did for her and how much she loved her, but Cheryl could be so cold. So hard and sharp. Toni knew she couldn't help it and she had her own demons, but Toni wished Cheryl would consider hers. She often felt like she was walking her days on a wire trying to avoid upsetting Cheryl, knowing it could easily spiral her.  
Thoughts began to pop up in Toni's head, digging deeper and deeper the longer they carried on. Each one more painful than the other.   
'am I not enough? Does she not love me? Will she think I don't love her? Am I even worth her time?'  
The more Toni questioned her own worth in the situation, the tighter her chest felt. Her lower lip began to tremble, and hot tears that felt like molten iron began to stream down her face. Toni couldn't cry infront of Cheryl, she couldn't wake her up knowing that Cheryl would blame herself. Her small frame began to shake as she choked back sobs with her hand. It was unfair - Toni was drowning in her feelings with no one to pull the plug, no one To help.   
It felt like barbed wire was wrapped round her throat, and she couldn't hold it any longer - she slowly swung her legs off the bed, her feet barely touching the floor as small sobs came from her lips. She felt small, insignificant not only to the eye but to mind, a feeling she was all too used to. Just as Toni shifted her weight, the bed creaked - and Cheryl stirred, her hands coming from under the covers to find her girlfriend.. Her eyes opening when she couldn't find her.   
'TT?'   
Toni bit her lip as Cheryl turned on the light behind her, not knowing what to do.   
Cheryl sat up and rubbed her eyes sleepily, her head tilting with confusion as she saw the quivering Toni sat on the edge of the bed with her back to her. The room as freezing, and toni only had her silk shorts on.   
'Toni? Are you ok?'  
The smaller girl nodded her head quickly, not turning round.   
'yeah Cher, I'm OK... Just going t-to the bathroom' Toni's words were broken up with a hiccup, and Cheryl immediately picked up how Toni was feeling, she grabbed Toni's hand as the small girl stood up off the bed.   
'Toni...what's wrong my sweet?'   
The tears burnt down Toni's face as she desperately tried to hold it together, but Cheryl squeezed her hand slightly.   
'I'm good Cher.. I promise'   
'Toni look at me'   
'I can't Cheryl I don't -'   
' Toni.... Look at me'   
Toni let out a small whimper and turned to Cheryl, embarrassed her girlfriend was seeing her so vulnerable- and Cheryl's face dropped. She didn't expect that.   
The redhead quickly pulled Toni into her embrace, pulling her cold shaky body back under the covers.   
Toni wasn't breathing, she was desperately holding in the breaths that threatened to come out as loud cries - her chest feeling like it was going to explode.   
'let it out baby, it's ok.. I'm here'   
And Toni did, she sobbed, her small hands holding onto Cheryl's flannel like she would never let go. Cheryl was taken back, she'd never seen Toni so broken, so vulnerable. Her pale hand stroked down the smaller girls back, she could feel Toni's tears soaking through her shirt into her skin.   
'oh Toni... What's wrong?'   
Toni couldn't tell her, it would break her heart. Yet again, Toni was alone with her feelings - and loneliness had never felt so selfish.


End file.
